I've been in the airline industry a little over 3 years. These are my experiences, minus specific details. Fellow flight attendants.. enjoy the laughs. Passengers.. take some notes.
Ask me anything
5. If your bag is hanging out of the bin don’t act satisfied and walk away.
4. This holiday season try not to act like you’ve never set foot outside of your homes. Get your shit together.
3. Do NOT ring your call bell to hand us your garbage.
1. Don’t stare at the lavatory door and wait for it to open.
During boarding yesterday I was mid cabin checking out the bags in the overhead bins while this little girl about 6 years old and her mother are passing by. A little boy about the same age as her says “Hi” to her and she gives this look and then looks at me and goes “Uhh awkwarddddd.”
What the hell!? What are kids watching on tv these days?! I couldn’t help but laugh.
Apparently there’s something going around this week when it comes to flying lol. Tuesday a JetBlue pilot goes apeshit and gets tackled… AND US Airways passenger attacks crewmembers… What the hell!? I was flying when all of this was taking place, and I had no idea about them until I reached my overnight.
Now let’s rewind through my second flight on Tuesday. I’m at the boarding door saying “Hello” “Hi good morning” “Welcome” to 150 passengers as they board the aircraft. Subconsciously I’m keeping my eyes out for anything suspicious, or anything that just doesn’t feel right. I’m standing in the forward galley in the center, basically blocking access to the flight deck.
A white, male, mid 20 passenger boards the aircraft. He looks like a shorter more unattractive version of Edward Cullen(Twilight douche). He stops and looks at me and tries to peer around me into the flight deck so I say “Hello how are you today?” Most passengers just smile and nod, or just say “Hi good and you?” and then they keep boarding, but not this guy. He holds up the boarding process to stop and have a full on chat. He says “I’m ok how are you?” I answer assuming he will make his way to his seat, but he doesn’t. He stands there and says “We gonna have a safe flight?” I look at the lead flight attendant who’s expression is like what the hell?!
I said “Well I certainly hope so.” Then he starts to freak out and saying that I’m doubting the safety of the flight, but I diffused the situation and told him the Captain said it’s going to be a smooth flight. He says “Are you sure? No turbulence?!” So I say “According to the Captain, that’s how it sounds. Sir would you please take your seat so we can continue boarding?” He finally makes his way down the aisle, that conversation was a tad peculiar so I took note of where the guy was sitting. He sat down around row 15. I figured at most he was just a nervous flyer, but I wanted to keep an eye on him. We finish boarding, taxi, and then take off.
After we reach our cruising altitude the aft flight attendant and myself are working the cart. I am facing forward in the cabin serving drinks, and the other flight attendant is looking around me. We were at about row 8 or 9, and that guy had gotten up and was fidgeting with his seat, and then he sat back down. At row 11 the flight attendant was looking again, so I turned around to find that guy coming out of the lavatory and instead of making his way back to row 15 he turned around and disappeared behind the galley walls.
I turned around and went straight to the galley and he was standing by one of the doors looking at the wall. I said “Sir I’m going to need you to take your seat please, the fasten seatbelt sign is illuminated, and this area is for crewmembers only. He looks at me with an agitated expression as I wedge myself between him and the doors, forcing him to move into the walk way between lavatories. He still hasn’t said anything, just has this odd look in his eyes, and I’ve begun to feel really uncomfortable about this passenger. I start walking up the aisle, which gives him no place to go but up the aisle too, so I stop at row 15. ”Take your seat sir.” He sits down, and still hasn’t said a word. The other flight attendant is watching attentively. I give her a look like “what the fuck is this guys deal?”
I serve a few more drinks, and then the flight attendant has a startled look in her face, so I turn around but before I can turn myself around there’s a body behind me. He’s standing behind me no more than 4 inches from my backside, and this throws me off guard.
"Sir please take your seat!"
He leans in closer to me and says “DO YOU HAVE ANY TUMS?”
"Oh ok, thanks anyway." Then sits down.
……………………………. This guy was just having bowel issues and shit! I couldn’t believe it. He had me all freaked out over nothing. When I got to his row he asked for a Ginger Ale, and an extra cup of ice. The whole time I’m thinking he’s some kind of potential threat, like he’s dangerous. Turns out he just had an upset stomach. The other flight attendant and I were laughing so hard when we finished the service.
When we finished that trip we found out about the pilot and the passenger that had gone nuts, and we couldn’t help but laugh at our silly passenger on that plane.
So today I was working a flight from some domestic city to another domestic city, exciting right? Not. Anyway…. I had 2 unaccompanied minors traveling, brother and sister, ages 8 and 10. We’ll call them Joey and Sally!
About half way through the flight the call bell rings, I look up and see that it’s the row my UM’s are seated in. I make my way back to see if everything is alright…
Me:”Is everything ok kids?”
Sally:”Are there monsters on this plane?”
I thought to myself OH MY GOD, how precious is she?! Poor thing is scared! I lean down and rest my hand on her shoulder to offer comfort…
Me:”Oh no no Sally there aren’t any monsters on board Honey! I promise! Plus if there are myself and the other flight attendants are all highly trained to protect you against any monsters! Please don’t be scared Sweetie!”
Sally:”Um, I meant Monster energy drinks?”
Joey:”No ma’am please don’t give her any!! She’ll be up all night and way too hyper!”
I can’t even begin to say how stupid I felt lol!!