Confessions of a Flight Attendant

Just another day at the office..

Apparently there’s something going around this week when it comes to flying lol.  Tuesday a JetBlue pilot goes apeshit and gets tackled… AND US Airways passenger attacks crewmembers… What the hell!? I was flying when all of this was taking place, and I had no idea about them until I reached my overnight.  

Now let’s rewind through my second flight on Tuesday.  I’m at the boarding door saying “Hello” “Hi good morning” “Welcome” to 150 passengers as they board the aircraft.  Subconsciously I’m keeping my eyes out for anything suspicious, or anything that just doesn’t feel right.  I’m standing in the forward galley in the center, basically blocking access to the flight deck.  

A white, male, mid 20 passenger boards the aircraft.  He looks like a shorter more unattractive version of Edward Cullen(Twilight douche).  He stops and looks at me and tries to peer around me into the flight deck so I say “Hello how are you today?” Most passengers just smile and nod, or just say “Hi good and you?” and then they keep boarding, but not this guy.  He holds up the boarding process to stop and have a full on chat.  He says “I’m ok how are you?” I answer assuming he will make his way to his seat, but he doesn’t.  He stands there and says “We gonna have a safe flight?” I look at the lead flight attendant who’s expression is like what the hell?! 

I said “Well I certainly hope so.” Then he starts to freak out and saying that I’m doubting the safety of the flight, but I diffused the situation and told him the Captain said it’s going to be a smooth flight.  He says “Are you sure? No turbulence?!” So I say “According to the Captain, that’s how it sounds.  Sir would you please take your seat so we can continue boarding?”  He finally makes his way down the aisle, that conversation was a tad peculiar so I took note of where the guy was sitting.  He sat down around row 15.  I figured at most he was just a nervous flyer, but I wanted to keep an eye on him.  We finish boarding, taxi, and then take off.  

After we reach our cruising altitude the aft flight attendant and myself are working the cart.  I am facing forward in the cabin serving drinks, and the other flight attendant is looking around me.  We were at about row 8 or 9, and that guy had gotten up and was fidgeting with his seat, and then he sat back down.  At row 11 the flight attendant was looking again, so I turned around to find that guy coming out of the lavatory and instead of making his way back to row 15 he turned around and disappeared behind the galley walls.  

I turned around and went straight to the galley and he was standing by one of the doors looking at the wall.  I said “Sir I’m going to need you to take your seat please, the fasten seatbelt sign is illuminated, and this area is for crewmembers only.  He looks at me with an agitated expression as I wedge myself between him and the doors, forcing him to move into the walk way between lavatories.  He still hasn’t said anything, just has this odd look in his eyes, and I’ve begun to feel really uncomfortable about this passenger.  I start walking up the aisle, which gives him no place to go but up the aisle too, so I stop at row 15.  ”Take your seat sir.”  He sits down, and still hasn’t said a word.  The other flight attendant is watching attentively.  I give her a look like “what the fuck is this guys deal?” 

I serve a few more drinks, and then the flight attendant has a startled look in her face, so I turn around but before I can turn myself around there’s a body behind me.  He’s standing behind me no more than 4 inches from my backside, and this throws me off guard.  

“Sir please take your seat!”

He leans in closer to me and says “DO YOU HAVE ANY TUMS?” 

“No.”

“Oh ok, thanks anyway.” Then sits down. 

……………………………. This guy was just having bowel issues and shit! I couldn’t believe it.  He had me all freaked out over nothing.  When I got to his row he asked for a Ginger Ale, and an extra cup of ice.  The whole time I’m thinking he’s some kind of potential threat, like he’s dangerous.  Turns out he just had an upset stomach.  The other flight attendant and I were laughing so hard when we finished the service.  

When we finished that trip we found out about the pilot and the passenger that had gone nuts, and we couldn’t help but laugh at our silly passenger on that plane.  

Bitchy Mothers

On the way back to my domicile the other day we hit some REALLY bad turbulence. Severe. I honestly got scared.  Days like that make me especially thankful to land safely. I sometimes forget that we’re in a giant metal tube flying through the sky.

Anyway, when we landed I was going to try to run and catch a flight to commute home. The rest of the crew had to take off to work their next flight, and left me on the plane. I was grabbing my bags when I realized that there was still a passenger on board. He told he was looking for his bag. There was only one bag other than mine in the overhead bin, but he was sure it wasn’t his. We pulled the bag down and I found a phone number, I dialed it. Noticing it was now 8:01pm and my flight home was at 8:15pm there was no way I’d make it now, my heart sank.

A woman answered the phone with an abrupt “Hello?!” sounding like The Nanny’s Fran Drescher.  I asked her if anyone had traveled from such and such cities to wear I was now.  She said her son was traveling and before I could even say that he’d left the bag she said “WHY?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?”

FIRST OF ALL, I’m going ABOVE and BEYOND my call of duty just by staying with this man and finding out where your jack ass son is with the wrong bag! SECONDLY, I just missed my flight home and you want to be a bitch already.

Anyway, so I cut her off. “Ma’am I’m the flight attendant.  Your son’s taken the wrong bag, the bag he has belongs to a man who’s here with me and has another flight to catch.  

She was EXTREMELY rude.  I gave her my number and told her to have her son contact me and the passenger and I would go and meet him to make the exchange.  

We started walking out to the main concourse, and she called about 5 minutes later.  She said her son was waiting at baggage claim B.  I told her that we would head there straight away.  

We were quite a ways away from there though, so it was going to take a bit of time for us to get there.  

About 10 minutes later, right as we were entering the baggage claim area, she called and said, “HEY! Where the hell are you my kid’s got places to be!!” I just about snapped, when I saw a kid that looked familiar standing by a carousel.  I recognized that passenger’s bag as he’d described it.  I asked him if that was it, and he smiled and told me it was.  

At this point I realized that the mother was still yapping on the phone and I started paying attention in time to hear her saying, “…you’re not even listening to me you bitch! I want your employee number and your first and last name I’m going to get you fired!” 

I cut her off by hanging up on her.  She called back immediately, and I ignored the call.  As we approached her son, he started apologizing, “Ma’am, sir, I’m sooooo sorry! I’m such an idiot, oh man I’m so so so sorry!” The passenger with me reassured him that it was already so long as he got his things back and had time to make his flight.  As they were talking the son’s phone rang.  He picked it up and I could hear that woman’s annoying voice through the phone, “GET THAT BITCH’S INFORMATION!!!” 

I loved the kid at this point… he says “Maaaa… shaddup!” and hung up on her! 

HAHAHA. I loved that.  So anyway, the exchange was made, the passenger made it to his next flight.  That made it worth me missing my flight home.  What can you do right?  I just couldn’t believe the nerve of that mother, being rude like that when I was just trying to help.  What the hell would her son have done when he realized he had none of his belongings?? 

I finally flew!

I did a quick two day trip that had a nice 22 hour layover. It was only worth about 7 hours, but it was good to get back out there.

Here’s a re-cap:
On the way there I had another airline pilot jumpseating who was squished between to people in a middle seat. So I found a row that had both the middle and window seats open a few rows back. I went and grabbed the pilot and continued back to the row with the empty seats. I said to the older white man in the aisle seat that I was going to sit someone in the window seat. He looked at me and said, “No. No one can sit here, I don’t want them to.” I laughed it off because there’s no way this guy could be serious. I jokingly said “Well sir did you pay for those two seats?”. He abruptly said no and lifted his old rickety leg and put it across both seats. Seriously??

I still thought he was kidding, so the pilot is standing there with me and I ask the man if he wants the aisle still or if he’d rather have the window seat. He RUDELY replies calling me ignorant and that no one is going to sit there! I couldn’t believe my ears. Then he muttered something about me being a bitch… WHAT!?!

Even the passengers in the area couldn’t believe this guy. He would not move over not would he put his leg down. I’ve never seen someone be so ridiculous. Well once he called me a bitch I marched right up to the cock pit and told the captain he immediately called ground personnel. We ended up having to go back to the gate, delaying our flight. A customer service manager and security boarded the plane. They spoke to him discretely, and I didn’t hear what was said, but they let him stay on board!

Some people piss me off so bad, I often think this may be the wrong field for me lol.

wanariefimran asked: I'm adding this blog into my 'flight crews' list (aviation tumblrs list) for sharing your flying experiences. Its there in my blog. Check it out. There are other flight attendants too. :)

Awesome thank you for the links! 

Thanks for reading and have a great day :D

flyymee asked: How does you airline work with reserve days? you guys have them all through out the year? i got so confuse reading your post, i have 6 Adays a month and i hate them! i can imagine how you must feel! I've been home (on my own) for about 7 days and it drives me crazy! lol new town new everything, been so lazy!! haha

I am on reserve all but 11 days a month(and those are my days off lol).  For example: I was off Wednesday and I’m on Thursday-Sunday, so that means that I went on duty at 12:00am Thursday(midnight Wednesday) and I’ll be on duty ‘til 11:59pm Sunday night.  Does that make sense? It’s the 8th of December and I haven’t flown a single trip lol!  ’Tis the season!

Thanks for reading!

No flying.

The life of a reserve flight attendant continues.  I haven’t flown more than a 2 day trip in almost 3 months.  I feel pretty lazy about it, but what can I do?!  

I picked up crocheting again, and I set up my very first Christmas tree(being on my own).  It’s soooo cute! 

I hope to get back to ya’ll with some excitement some time soon!

Happy Holidays!

Nick Aaronson

May you rest in sweet heavenly peace.  

As a fellow flight attendant of this particular flight attendant’s airline, I am deeply saddened by the events in Mexico City.  It rips my heart to shreds, and makes me scared to do my job.  

I’m always a bit cautious when entering a hotel room alone.  I usually leave my bags propping the door open so that I can take a look at the room and make sure I’m alone, and still have a clean exit.

I can’t believe he was only 27 years old.  Barely a year older than me :/

God be with Nick’s family and friends during this difficult time.  

Flight attendants across the nation will be wearing this black ribbon in remembrance of Nick Aaronson. Please spread the word.